I pride myself on working in the background. Staying in the shadows. I must admit there are moments where I want more than anything to be at the forefront of things; to lead the army and speak up with conviction. But I have been gifted with extreme shyness and quiet wisdom that I do not fully understand yet. I know better than to question my creator. So I have accepted these gifts and reluctantly observe from the sidelines. It was during one of such observations that I first noticed Mena.
The first thing I noticed about him-like I notice about everybody else, were his eyes. They were one of the saddest I had ever seen. Yet, they also held a quiet anger. Like he was mad at the universe for casting such a burden (i didnt know what the burden was yet) upon him but rather than admit he was in pain, he chose to fight it with all his might. Converting all that dark energy into anger instead. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him and even if i did, i wouldn’t have because as i mentioned earlier, my creator has gifted me with extreme shyness. I just stared and spent the next few days pondering about the strange boy with the sad eyes that held a lot of anger.
The second time I met Mena was at an acquaintance’s place. I kept stealing glances and trying to see the story his eyes would convey this time around- it was the same as last time. Only this time it was a little sadder. Less anger. That scared me. At least with anger, you know the person still had fight in them. Still had spirit and was ready to go to war to get back the things stolen from them. He’d lost some of his spirit. And it scared me. He asked me a question although I cannot recall what it was about now that I think of it. The whole time I kept asking myself what he had been through from the period of my last observation till our present encounter. The answer never came to me.
The third time I met Mena was on school grounds. He was standing with people I would assume were his friends and an acquaintance of mine told me she was going to say hi. He turned to look at her when she called his name and I almost broke down when I saw his eyes. They were filled with so much pain. All that anger was gone. All that was left was nothing but a shell of what he used to be. As I walked away, I prayed silently to my creator to take his pain away. I remember feeling empty and restless afterwards- worrying about a boy I had said less than ten words to in my entire life. A while later, Mena tried to take his own life. He was standing in front of a mirror in his room. Tears in his eyes and pain in his heart. Ready to draw the knife across his neck. But he’d made a new friend earlier. A boy named Kelvin. He didn’t fully understand Kelvin yet, but he knew he liked him a lot. I do not know if it was fate. Or if it was a stroke of luck. Or whether this story would have taken a different turn if Kelvin had walked past his room a minute later. But as the creator would have it, Kelvin walked past his room at just the right moment. He didnt just walk past. He said a phrase that shook Mena to his core and made him change his mind. He had said quite matter of factly “Yo Mena, I LOVE YOU BRO”. That was it. Nothing fancy. Nothing poetic or dramatic. Those words were Mena’s saving grace. Sometimes I wonder if Kelvin knows he saved a life that day. Or if he understand how much Mena loves him.
The fourth time I met Mena was at my apartment building. He was the last person I was expecting to see. He looked happier. At peace with himself. He even said hi to me. I mouthed a response and as he walked past me, I looked to the heavens and thanked my creator for saving him. Coincidentally, I found out we were neighbours and by choice, we became friends. He told me stories about his UFO. He would go into detail about what his spaceship would look like and how he had big plans to big it to fruition and everytime he added new layers to the story I would smile- partly because I was fascinated and partly because I still couldn’t believe he was so happy now. I dreamed that we would go on space adventures together and I’d fight to the death any force or entity that threatened his happiness. I loved him not as a lover loves their partner; I loved him the way you love someone you simply cannot do without. I traded a part of myself to bring him happiness and I do not regret it one second.
I still do not know the cause of his pain during his earlier years. And we never got around to talking about it. I remember he brushed on the topic once- in passing and very visibly uncomfortable. I figured we would talk about it at a later time but sadly that day never came. We fell apart during my final weeks in school because of his girlfriend. Shes an energy vampire. And I hate to think that she might take him back to those dark days. But I believe in my heart that my creator watches over him still. What hurts the most is that he left me when I was most vulnerable. When I would have turned the world upside down to make sure the people who hurt him never did it again.
I get very sad and cant think straight anymore. I’m losing my grip on reality and I dont know how much longer I can go on. When it gets too bad I remember Mena’s UFO stories and I want to be on one more than anything now. My creator will be coming for me soon and I will finally be able to rest. Mena, if this ever gets to you, I hope you were finally able to complete your UFO and go on incredible missions. I hope you got away and I pray that you’re eternally protected by the divine forces above. I hope you’re flourishing and keeping it a buck. Being your friend gave me a reason to smile.
Pray for me old friend. I’m running out of reasons to stay. If I ever cross your mind, send a UFO my way.
